i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
