Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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