can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
