I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
