If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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