So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
