So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
