Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
