where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
