ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
