I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it because I queefed?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
