Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
