between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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