Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I forgot wine drunk hurts
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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