He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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