I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
