My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
