its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
