I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
