JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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