He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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