umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
