What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
