I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
