too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
