...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
