ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
