return my video game
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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