thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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