i don't like sucking hair
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
