how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
