Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
