Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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