is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize