apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She said her name was "party"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize