I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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