i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he puts the penis in happiness.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
