a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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