he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize