no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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