why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize