she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
