I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
