Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
