last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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