Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Found the puke drawer
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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