He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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