Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
