there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
