Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
