I wanna bring you to show and tell
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
