I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
