i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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