i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and she was petting her beer can
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
