dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
