I love black thongs
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
