I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
